Sheep protest rally in NZ

Flowers and food

There were two neighbours  - one family was Christian (Joshua and Mary), and the other Buddhist (Xian and Shu).  The couples were very good friends.  Mary and Shu passed on, leaving Joshua and Xian widowed.  The men missed their wives a lot, and were visiting the grave sites very regularly.  On each visit, Joshua would place Mary's favorite flowers by the headstone, and Xian would leave Shu's favorite dishes.  This went on for a long time, when one day Joshua and Xian had the following conversation:

 

J:  Xian, why do you leave food?

X:  Shu liked them.

 

J:  But she is gone, and the food would just go to waste.

X:  Oh no, she ate what I brought.

 

J:  You are kidding.

X:  I am not.

 

J:  OK, but tell me when exactly did she come and eat the food.

X:  She came at the same time Mary came to smell her flowers.

 

J:  Now you are talking crazy.

X:  I am not, and in fact Mary also ate the food.

 

J:  You know this, how?

X:  Shu told me, and she also told me that Mary did not like my cooking.

J:  What else did Shu tell you?

X:  Nothing much, except that she and Mary live in the same beautiful apartment in heaven.

 

Keep leaving flowers; but don't forget the food.

 

(contributed by Sam)

Fishing trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip. Two days before the group is to leave Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

"I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a black, brand new see-through nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over. On the bed were handcuffs and ropes!

She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and so I did. And then she said "do what ever you want.......

"So here I am!"

(contributed by Sam)